Lessons from school

Being a teacher has taught me something- that there is at least one person looking up to you.

I realised that this is not just a job. It is a mission field and I love each and everyone of of my students.

I realised that what I am doing is not just teaching Mathematics. I am also teaching them how to love, how to communicate, how to be thankful, how to forgive, how to view things in a different perspective, how to rejoice with others, how to encourage one another, and not to give up.

I realised that I am learning from each of my student too.

I learnt that as a teacher, we do not need to block all access from our students. Rather, we can welcome them in with open arms whenever they need a listening ear. I learnt that it is not wrong to be their friend.

I learnt that respect is not forced upon, it is earned.

Checking the heart

I am sitting here invigilating Year 11 students taking their end of term test. December is always the month where people do stock taking, checking the heart, checking the year's goals to see what have been missed, what could be done better, what were the regrets, what were the achievements..

It is the Year of No Repeats as what pastor told the church, to encourage the church to embark in new things. As I listed down the blessings and everything I thanked God for, I realised how much God has been faithfully providing and protecting me. "He will never leave nor forsake you."

Heart checking. How much have I learned to love and to receive love? Have I been angry and frustrated over small things? How have I shown forgiveness? How is my heart towards others - my family, CG members, students, friends and colleagues?

Yes, this year I was blessed to be a school teacher again. September 2014, I started a new journey as a Maths and Physics teacher at an international school. I thank God for His grace, I survived a whole term in teaching these kids that He loves so much. I learned to love them, to accept their character, to mould and guide them.

Next year I will focus more on these students. This is my mission field for now, and Philippines too. I pray for more love. That His love will heal hearts and restore the wounded emotions.

Dealing with loss

Last Friday my grandfather passed away. To be honest I did not know how to respond to that, I did not know how did I feel exactly. I just know that I have lost a grandpa due to cancer and he has held on longer than expected. He has kept the faith for a long time.

I know I will miss him. Will miss him asking "How is your walk with God?" "Are you still attending church regularly?" His love for the Word of God never failed to inspire me to keep on pursuing the heart of the Father. He has kept a journal from 1999. The year he accepted Christ. Until 2011. I know I will find gold in it. Treasures that God has spoken to him personally.

I have my regrets too. For not appreciating enough when he boiled a pot of soup or barley drink without sugar. Or when he walked down to the market to buy bread just so that our tummies are even more fill after feeding us so much. Or the pots of flowers he tended for as long as I could remember. I did not appreciate enough the allowances he gave everytime I paid a visit. I did not make it in time to sing him a last song.

I thank God he was at peace when he left. I thank God he has made a decision to follow Christ for the past 14 years. I thank God my 5-year old childish remark of "Yeh yeh, if you don't believe in Jesus you will go to hell ahh" was something he remembered for so long, that I couldn't remember. It must have sowed a tiny seed that time.

How do I deal with loss? I mourned. And then I keep my chin up. I will keep on looking forward, and try my best to run this race well like how he did. And how God was so pleased with his simple faith. I will keep on living my life discovering more of God's plan for me everyday. I will keep on loving Him and loving others. I will keep on praising God.

Moving Forward

2013 was an amazing year for me. Started the year with worship and prayer, ended the year with worship and prayer in a whole new level.

I met new friends, who are so passionate for God and His Kingdom

I travelled to many places for work, mission and holiday. Went to an eye-opener, life-changing trip to Philippines under OMF and Bukang Liwayway. Went to Sabah for the first time. Went to all the states in Peninsular Malaysia for work

Left my job end of November.

I discovered so much of God that I have never experienced before. And He still amazes me in so many ways. He is my Provider

I took up a course online called WorshipU

Planted a new CG at Bangsar

Preached in an event for the first time. I normally preach only in CG. And had altar call where the Holy Spirit did His work...and salvation came upon the young people

Went to the streets... And just be a vessel for God to demonstrate His love through me. Witnessed His healing power, His presence that brought warmth and peace that surpasses all understanding

Worship leading. Ah, it has been a ministry close to my heart for 10 years. And He stripped away everything I 'know' about worship leading. Brought me to a deeper relationship with Him. Worshipping God is a joy. It is an honor to sing to the Almighty.

....

2014 will be amazing. I am excited. CHCKL calls it the "Year of No Repeats." Breaking of habits, exploring new things, letting go and trusting God.

Eyes

I saw the most tender looking eyes as I was spending time with the Lord. And I was reminded how much He loves me. Doesn't matter how much I love Him, He still loves me more.

That eyes full of gentleness, without judgement. The eyes that say, "It's okay, I have found you and you are save in My arms."

Do you know how much God loves you? There's no way to explain that so He demonstrated that by sacrificing His Son, because no one else could do it. No one else was perfect enough, selfless enough, obedient enough, to do the will of the Father. So He did it. And we are here, still given the choice to return the love or to reject the Love. Still He loves.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Imagine this love that faces so many objections and rejections. He holds on to you and say, "I'll never let you go." No where else can you find this love than in Jesus Christ.

Thank You for loving me..

Plugged In

I don't know if it is just me, but it has happened to me many times. When I wanted to charge my phone or laptop, I would plug in the cable and then continue using my devices.. And suddenly I'll receive a 'warning' sign that battery is running low, only to realise, I did not switch it on.

When we are doing ministry it is very easy for us to get tired. And so often we would plug ourselves into motivational books and sermons that would inspire us. I'm not saying that listening to sermons and reading books are wrong, but these cannot be our only spiritual food. It is like the charger, we plug in but forgot to switch on. Take time to be so aware of what God is doing, what is He saying at that moment. Read the Word and have your personal revelation.. switch on and be recharged.

Worship Uni

When I signed up for this course, I was super excited. Did not know what to expect, what was I going to learn, but I know my life will definitely transform. I took this 3-month course, committing 5-6 hours a week learning from the online videos and try to absorb as much as I can. In summary, I learned how to worship a King. The King of Kings. I learned how to be aware of His presence at all times and ask Him, "God, how was my worship, did you enjoy it?" "What are You saying...?"

There's no more striving, only resting. These 3 months was a blessing. I thank God for this opportunity. I'm gonna relisten all the lessons again, and write more notes...and hopefully a song. ^^

Peace be with you

John 20:19-23

Then, the same day at the evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where he disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst and said to them, "Peace be with you."

When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.

So Jesus said to them again, "Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you."

And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit."

"If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

2013

This morning I felt my heart pounding hard and fast. It was 5am. I immediately got up and asked God..."What is it?" I waited and prayed, and got prompted to read my bible.  Isaiah 40.

I have been reading a lot from Isaiah lately. And so I did not want to read Isaiah. But when I flipped open my bible, it was right at Isaiah 40.

So much revelation revealed. Read Isaiah 40 until 61. And I wasn't the only one. Radiance also read the whole of Isaiah this morning haha. :)

Yesterday, I received healing too! Having sty is really frustrating. It will swell up my eye and every time I blink I feel pain. But yesterday during church I blinked my eyes and suddenly the pain and swelling was gone! Praise God! My eye was swollen two days ago and normally it would swell more before it recovers. But I remembered God promised He would heal me during the weekend. So I kept on claiming that my eye will be healed. So it's healed now.

Church service was great. God is always present when His people gather to worship and praise His name. I just fall in love with Him over and over again. While worship leading on stage yesterday I received a vision. Someone said, "One of you here have a shoulder pain." And that time I felt my shoulder ache. Then a girl went forward to be prayed for and she was healed. The setting of that vision was at Kingdom City Church for some reason. I just proclaim God's healing that time on stage. And I thought I would pay that church a visit later that evening to go forward to be prayed for as well. But instead I went home to sleep :p

This morning Radiance told me about her shoulder ache she had for 3 days. She went up responding to an altar call for people who wants more of God's anointing during the evening service. And at that time her shoulders were healed. Wow.

God is showing so much of Himself and I'm running out of superlatives to describe how awesome is His awesomeness. I can praise Him all day!

2013, a year of redemption. A year for MORE of God. I want to do so much more... I want to feed the hungry, make education possible for the poor, pray for the lonely... I want to go Philippines. I heard that the place I wanted to go is one of the most dangerous place in Manila, but if God is for me, nothing can be against me. Amen!

His Love

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

When I was having this verse in mind, I was in awe. I was excited, curious, in awe, and many more feelings - I'm confused.

Bible says to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Every time I read that verse I would ask God, "How?" But this time, I didn't question God. Instead, I was reminded that God demonstrated His own love - He loves us with all His heart, mind, soul and strength. He loves us with His ALL. How? By sending His Son to die for us while we were yet sinners.

In Matthew 25:40 - "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' What was it that we should do to demonstrate God's love? Feed the poor, clothe them, provide shelter, look after the sick... Let us give back. 

Eventful 1st week of 2013

It's only the first week and God has given me so many new friends who are like-minded and like-hearted. People who pursue God.

Attended 2 prayer meetings this week and I didn't know everyone in the meeting except for Radiance. But it's amazing how God can bring people together, and because we are a family we can just come before Him having the same faith.

I am SO HAPPY. Spirit in me is so excited all the time I could literally feel him jumping inside me.

The thought of having the King of Glory dwelling on the inside of me just made me go...wow...

And I also had dinner with my CG members :) So glad to have them share lives with me. It's not about how tasty the steamboat was (yea the soup tasted so good!) but the company that matters. Hearing them thanking God for 2012 just put a smile on my face.

Reflecting 2012

Looking back at the year that went by quickly, 2012 was a year of discovery for me. God showed me so much about Him, and so much about myself that I didn't know (or didn't want to know haha..)

What happened in 2012?

I quit my first job at Harvest Center, and started a new job at FrogAsia.
I won't deny, I still miss my students VERY MUCH. Often wonder how are they doing. Having worked in Harvest Center was definitely God's opportunity to open my eyes to a bigger purpose in my life. To have compassion for the needy and to be ready to give.

FrogAsia is a totally different environment. I travelled to so many schools around Peninsular Malaysia, had the opportunity to meet many amazing people, communicate with teachers, engaging the students, brainstorm etc. It's a new door opened for me and I believe for greater things to come.

Went back to visit the Orang Asli at Raub

I love going back to Raub - because I get to meet pastors who sacrificially travel bumpy rides every week to visit the orang asli's villages and conduct services. I didn't get to meet the children because I went there a day later due to work. But I was blessed. To be able to have fellowship and cook with the people from the villages, to be able to pray for the sick and see healing happen.

Went to Philippines for the 1st time

With the worship team and pastor, and a medical team, we went to Philippines to lead praise & worship in a youth conference while the medical team opened a mobile clinic. Thank God for that free time in the afternoon. I went and sat on a branch when children came and I learned some Tagalog from them :) They were a bliss.. Love them!

Carolling at an Orphanage

Every time I go for missions I thought I'm there to blessed. In the end I was so touched and blessed myself! The children there do not live comfortably but they looked so jolly. During the part where I distributed goodies, a boy carried a 1 year old pastor's son. And he laid his hand on my head. Caretaker said he wants to pray for me. *teary* 

Went to Bangkok and Hanoi for the 1st time

Not for mission trip :p It was a sisterly holiday and although I was not well during the trip, I enjoyed my time a lot! And I get to learn the different culture outside Malaysia.

Had Sub Zone Big Day (Ohana Night) and Sub Zone Christmas Party

Which bonded all of us leaders in the sub zone :) And lives were blessed.

And the many weddings I've sang at and attended...

So despite all the events happened in 2012, I considered to be quite withdrawn because I was spending more time discovering more about who I am in Christ :) It was a good year. I was blessed, and I look forward to this year! God's going to do amazing thing!

Closer

So pull me a little closer

Take me a little deeper

I wanna know Your heart

I wanna know Your heart

I was very encouraged after having dinner with 2 great friends of mine

To learn we came from different walks of life, different upbringing, different calling (still discovering), and yet in the end it's all for One audience - God.

He works in mysterious ways, ways we couldn't comprehend. We will ask Him "Why???" all the time but in the end still find joy in doing the things He called us to do. Funny. I love Him.

To my 3 email friends, I know you read this wan lah he he he... keep the faith!

I need You

I need You more, more than yesterday

I need You more, more than words can say

I need You more than ever before

I need You Lord

I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe

More than the song I sing

More than the next heartbeat

More than anything

As time goes by 

I'll be by Your side

Cause I never want to go back to my old life

We give You the Highest Praise!

We give You the Highest Praise!

Job

You know you love what you do when you forgot there's a holiday coming. When you don't apply for leave to get the whole week off. It's no longer just a 'job'.

I enjoy being here, being part of a huge huge project that could possibly transform the mindset of teachers, bridging the gap between teachers and students, having personalised learning platform for students. And I don't work with people who are here for the money. They are here for the future generation. For education.

These 2 weeks I went through an internal company training where there were talks about the history of the company, the company values, vision, mission, understanding every department in the company, understanding the product, team building, public speaking, creative thinking.......

The best part was, even the receptionist joined in the training. Everyone started off from the same foundation again.

Imagine a company where people from different departments just mingle around, sending each other notes of encouragement, inspiring videos, being generous with compliments and smiles are everywhere.

I think unity is the key to keeping a company together and making the vision happen.

I'm looking forward to go into schools across Malaysia. And carry the culture of the company with me.

Nostalgia

Went to a school today to shadow a teacher. (for work purpose)

So early in the morning I head out to this school, and a teacher brought me to the class. Form 5. A teacher was in there, students stood up and greeted "Good morning, Miss Phoebe" and I was directed to the back of the class. Hmmm. I was never greeted Miss Phoebe before in a class... It was always "Good morning teachaaa". Gave an awkward smile to the students and took my seat.

Ah, felt like I was back in school. Just that I never sit at the back of the classroom before! I scanned through the class, prepared my notebook and started scribbling my observations.

I've never seen a class where EVERY student were attentive. Not once their eyes were off the teacher/the whiteboard. The teacher was fun, interactive, and she went to the level of her students' interests. She knows what's the latest news in the entertainment world, she knows which K-Pop, Bollywood, Hollywood artists they are interested in. Most importantly she managed to cover the objectives of her lesson.

I was inspired. "I want to be able to teach like that," I told myself.

I had so much memories coming back to me as I sat there and observed both the teacher and students engage in discussion. They were discussing English Literature past year questions. But the past year questions were based on 'The Pearl'. Now it's different haha. Wow. 'The Pearl' was during MY batch.

On my way back to work I went to withdraw money. The bank is situated below the school I used to teach in. Harvest :) AND I met my students again :') Really miss them and they were so excited! First thing they told me was, "Teacher, I passed my Maths!" I can even remember their scores.. 51, 71, 89, 90, 94..... I know they will ace UPSR.

I drove back to work after that :) Happy that my previous students are doing so well!

If you can't change the world, change yourself, then try again. One person at a time.

2 months

Been two months since I stopped teaching at Harvest, one month entering my work at FrogAsia.

I enjoy working at the new place, but I still do miss my students.. they have been a joy.
My current office is just across the road =)
I think that's a good thing...

I went over to the school's cafe 2 weeks ago to collect some muffins, cookies and scones for a few guests who were at the office. It was coincidentally the same time my students were having their breaks. When they saw me at the cafe they looked like they have just seen a ghost haha.

Some of them came over and hugged me
some thought I went back to teach
some asked why did I left them
some asked if I will ever go back to teach them
Some asked if I have forgotten them
some asked where am I working now...
some just shyly waved at me and whispered to their friends "Hey Teacher Phoebe is here!"

These children are precious. They left a great impact in my life and I really want to give back. I'm planning to volunteer there on the weekends whenever I can.

I wish the society have more awareness about who these kids and how they survive as a family here in Malaysia. I wish I have more to give and to help.

Show me Your glory

This is truly my heart's desire.. Show me Your glory, God. Your presence is where I belong.

My God

I'm so glad I'm on God's side.

I hear sounds of victory roar. Cheers and exclamation of His goodness.

He died for me. Then He defeated death. He's the macho-est of the macho.