My way?

As I was switched on to my thinking mode (usually, when I couldn't sleep), I was reflecting upon my life. I realised one thing: I don't like the feeling of regret. As a matter of fact, I don't even like others to think that I'm regretting hahah..

I don't know if you know this really old song called 'My way', which is like a storylike-song. It's about a man who is at his deathbed and saying how much he has accomplished in life because he did it his way. But doing things our way is really really imperfect no matter how hard we try.

"And now, the end is near;

And so I face the final curtain.

My friend, Ill say it clear,

I'll state my case, of which Im certain.

I've lived a life thats full.

I've traveled each and evry highway;

And more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;

Each careful step along the byway,

But more, much more than this,

I did it my way."

I just put a few stanza's of the song. I've heard this song sung so many times by uncles, dad, etc. I sang it too just for fun, and Frank Sinatra is still awesome.. heh..

But from the past few years, I knew that if I wanna live my life without regrets - not a few, not one, not half, but no regrets, I have to surrender my life to the One who sees and knows everything - my past, present, and future.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

From form 5 onwards, I'm sure all of us had to make decisions. Stay for form 6, college, pre-U, foundation programme, diploma, scholarship or no scholarship, which scholarship to choose (for those outstanding ones), start working, migrate?

And then after that, more choices had to be made to decide how your future is going to be like. Degree, loans, scholarships, change course, which course to choose, which university/college, break?

And there are other choices like, where to eat, what you wanna do today, should you sleep in or late, etc.

I've made my decision, and the past is just for me to remember, not to hold on.

There were (and will be) people came (will come) saying,

"Oh, you should have done (this and that), apply for (this and that).."

or

"If you were to come to me earlier, I would have told you not to (do this and that)"

and many more phrases that would make you feel really guilty like

"You should just watch this movie instead of that laa... Why you watched that lousy movie??"

But honestly, I really do not think that I've made bad choices or 'mistakes'. Some 'mistakes' I've made brought me to where I am today. It is not for me to say whether today could have been better or not, but since the past few years, I'm all smiles (or serious.. yeah.. I got a serious look), and without frowns! Just trust in the Lord!

When I'm on my deathbed, I prefer to say,

"...and more, much more than these, I did it His way.. Regrets I have none.."